Friday, May 11, 2007
Panic (rant)
It's like the panic hasn't set in. And for the first time during my school years, I'm absolutely terrified for my English paper. I need to keep my head out of the gutter. I need to get off this computer. I need to resist the lure and start learning to concentrate once again. When will the seriousness set in?
When will I ever learn to stick to my morals and goals? When someone new comes up it's always thrown out the window and I sacrifice myself. It's like the fortress has been destroyed and the walls come down. And then when we're done I'm left with an empty shell full of what might-have-been's and I-should-have's. I hate myself for sacrificing everything and need to fully realise the meaning of "don't put too many eggs in one basket."
Or it could just be the exam tension. I don't know what to think anymore. Those walls better come back or I'm not opening up anytime soon for anyone new.
I'm so scared for my English paper I don't know what to do. I try to study Sejarah but nothing's going in. English used to be a breeze, full of ideas and now...I'm blank. I'm so far gone now, I've been running on empty.
Someone shoot me on the foot. But you know, the wounds heal and hopefully I'll be better again.
7:17 AM
